There are so many options here in this city.
Ideally, this is a good thing. Right?
Restaurant options, relationship options, transportation options, entertainment options, communication options...
There are entire databases online built for researching and rating the "best" services that this city has to offer. Where should you eat Thai food in Noe Valley? Well, duh. You should "yelp" it and let the collective consciousness of the city tell you exactly where to go.
Are you vegetarian... vegan... gluten free... dairy free... organic... macrobiotic... free range... raw... no carb... or, hey, do you just eat any food they put in front of you?
Tell us. Who "are" you?
This is a city crawling with opinionated people. Smart people. Creative people. Good looking people. People who work passionately, go skiing in Tahoe on the weekends, buy organic clothing, drive electric cars, drink good wine and eat at only the best restaurants. Life is lived with much deliberation and intentionality in the midst of the chaos of the endless options available.
I just moved to this city from a community where there is one good happy hour in town. You show up there on Friday night and everyone you know is already drinking.
By contrast, in this city, most of the time I've just feel lost, confused and disconnected.
"Who am I?"
Uh oh. I feel an unnecessary identity crisis coming on...
I don't KNOW what I want!
I am so overwhelmed with opportunities that I have found myself defaulting to a passive, "go wherever the wind may take me" mentality. Actually, I vacillate between that and the resignation of hiding in my apartment watching instant streaming movies online. Even there, in the comfort of my own bedroom, I am drowned in a sea of choices. But don't worry. The databases have solved this dilemma for me. My preferences are instantly predicted and my identity is magically generated by my book vendor, music player, search engine, clothing distributor and social networking site. A list of "movies you will love" or "books we recommend" pops up for me every time I visit.
Seriously! Just check out the sidebar next time you are looking at your ex's wedding photos on your social networking site:
"Fan of Kill Bill, Vol. 1? Well, check out our newest blockbuster titled..."
"Is art your passion? Register now for photography classes at your local..."
"Are you a Tori Amos fan? Check out debut artist..."
Call me archaic. Call me foolish even. But the rebel within me says "no."
I don't want a database to tell me who I am or to turn me into who I will become.
To be continued.
